"Choosing Us speaks transparently to readers, whether married or single, of our naive assumptions about love and lopsided gender roles that we bring into marriage. Gail and Brian bring their full selves to this book, two strong-minded people willing to listen, negotiate, forgive, and grow. Choosing Us offers invaluable lessons on how to use natural differences and conflicts to work toward a loving relationship, creating a healthy marriage as the first step in building a just world."
--Renita J. Weems, minister, biblical scholar, and author of What Matters Most: Ten Passionate Lessons on the Song of Solomon

Marriage is about more than constant bliss or unending sacrifice. It's about exploring your own story, seeing the other for who they are (even as they change), and being flexible in discovering how those differences and stories come alive in new ways when joined together.

For years, people have asked Gail Song Bantum and Brian Bantum to reveal the secret to their marriage as a multiracial Christian couple, each with a high-profile ministry calling. In Choosing Us, the Bantums reveal the lessons, mistakes, and principles that have helped them navigate race, family history, and gender dynamics. Their book reflects the realities and demands of modern marriage and respects the callings and ambitions of both partners.

Choosing Us shows that marriage is the discovery of life in the gaps and the mysteries that emerge when we live in mutuality, believing that fullness is possible amid differences and even systemic obstacles. When we pursue mutual flourishing, we can build a relationship that thrives and reflects the kingdom of God.